I know everyone is done with the holidays and ready to move on, but I have been reflecting back on how my view of holiday giving really changed this year. I thought I would share my experience before we move forward.
At the beginning of the season, I posted a few ways families could give and volunteer over the holidays. I have to admit that it was somewhat half hearted. I offered suggestions because I knew parents were searching for ideas of ways to give and teach the true meaning of the season. My volunteer journey as a parent began with looking for ways to help during the holidays when the kids were little. I wanted them to understand that the holiday season was for giving and not all about the gifts they were hoping to receive. What I found, year after year, were filled up volunteer slots and overloaded organizations. We would take angels off the tree and donate gifts or bring treats to various organizations, but I felt like this was not truly resonating with my children. I was in search of something more meaningful and was not able to find it. Over the years, I decided it was more important to volunteer throughout the year when everyone had moved on and let others fill all of those slots during the holiday rush.
One experience in particular changed my entire perspective this year. The Go Jen Go Foundation is an organization providing assistance and support to families battling breast cancer. This is an organization near and dear to the hearts of my friends and neighbors Meredith McGough and Joe Pagani. When they sent around a sign up sheet of gifts needed and volunteers to wrap and deliver, of course I wanted to get involved. I had no idea the gift of perspective I would gain through this experience.
My kids were not particularly involved in this experience except that I talked about it every step of the way with them. Just like most families, we were overloaded with a million commitments. Sometimes volunteering can be about teaching and involving your kids and sometimes you just give because people need your support and because you are fortunate enough to be in a place in your life where you can help others. If kids see us giving and helping, they learn by example.
Go Jen Go collects Christmas lists from the families they support. They encourage them to list exactly what their children are hoping for as well as for themselves. We all got together and wrapped these gifts and put the children’s and mom’s names on them. They were delivered completely ready for Christmas morning. These families are experiencing financial hardship like they have never experienced due to medical bills and their inability to work during this time. They are also struggling to have the energy to make it through each day and then, on top of that, to take care of their families. The mom I delivered gifts to is a single mom with two little girls. Her primary concern is maintaining normalcy for her children. She wants them to be happy, feel like everything is ok and to not be scared. This mom’s family lives in Greece, so she has very little support except from a few people from her church and from Go Jen Go.
When I met this mom, she felt like an old friend. We connected immediately and ended up talking for a while. I was really moved by the love and dedication she has for her girls. Just the day before, she put them in matching dresses and took them to see Santa. She was in the middle of daily radiation treatments and felt awful, but she didn’t want this year to be any different for them than years past. Before Go Jen Go contacted her, she thought she would have to tell the girls there would not be any Christmas gifts that year and it just broke her heart. Meanwhile, the girls were excitedly making their list for Santa with their number one wish for American girl dolls. Their mom was so sad thinking there was no way she could fulfill this wish for them. I delivered the gifts on a day when the girls were playing with friends. As I brought in load after load of every item on the girls wish lists, including the specific American Girl dolls they were dreaming of, the mom was crying, I was crying, we were hugging and it all made sense to me in that moment. This was about moms supporting other moms. Families supporting other families. The angel trees I had found meaningless in the past were not about a kid getting a toy they wanted on Christmas, it was about helping a fellow mom and a neighboring family create a sense of normalcy during a time where nothing else was normal. During a time where a family was dealing with pain and struggle daily, we were bringing joy, even for just a moment. We were giving kids a sense that there is still happiness during a time of struggle and parents the power to provide this moment of joy for their family. I did not bring my kids to deliver the gifts because this was not about them. This was one mom and an organization standing together with another mom saying we are here for you. You are not alone and we care about you and your children. You have a village.
I will carry this perspective with me forever. It has renewed my energy for giving back in the community all year long because I can and because there are so many needs. I am so grateful that I am able to help and I am so grateful there are so many organizations that guide us to those who need our support. I will continue to try to communicate various needs in the community so that we can all help each other and to lift each other up as we each endure whatever hardships life throws our way. Happy New Year!